What made you decide to become a therapist?
The first reason that comes to mind is a childhood in which my mother’s philosophy that children should be left alone to run wild meant both a great deal of independence, but also a lot of time spent in my own company. This proved to be good training for a profession in which an ability to be self-motivated, and to bear long periods of solitude are essential prerequisites.

In terms of more conscious decision-making, I have a vivid recollection of the moment I knew I was on the right path. It was during a residential weekend on my first counselling course. It was summer, and some of us were watching the Wimbledon tennis final. As the TV camera panned to the partner of one of the players, the tutor commented, ‘I wonder what she is thinking now’. This so mirrored my own curiosity that I knew I had found my family of choice.

Where did you study?
I was lucky enough to have attended the iconic South West London College counselling course, at a time when there was plenty of money in adult education. The course ethos was student–centred, which in practice, meant we could pretty much choose what we wanted to study. If the permanent tutors did not have the necessary expertise, they would buy it in. Consequently, I was introduced to TA, Gestalt, couple counselling, bio-energetics (does this still happen?) and groupwork, amongst other theories and practices.

In particular, I learned that it is possible, with flexibility and imagination, to create timetables that allow students to choose how to study. I build this lesson into my own teaching now and note the same relief in my students as I experienced then.

Later, I studied for my master’s degree in counselling at the college (now University) of Ripon and St John. This was a much more academic course, presenting different challenges, not least of which was the discipline of reading non-fiction and writing in a reasonably academic style.

What do you do now?
I have lived and worked in West Yorkshire for the past 25 years. Currently, I work two days a week in independent practice, as a counsellor, supervisor and trainer, and three days lecturing in counselling and psychology at the University of Huddersfield. I also edit the ethical dilemmas column for Therapy Today.  I am very committed to ethical practice in counselling and practice, and have served on BACP’s professional conduct panels for some years.

What were your hopes when you became a therapist?
Sorry, but this is far too long ago to remember.

Have they changed and if so, in what ways?
Looking back, I think I was incredibly naive, and incredibly lucky to have established a practice relatively quickly.
What do you think makes a good therapist?
 So many things – self-knowledge, and the ability to use it in understanding others has to be high on the list. 

An excellent understanding of theory helps too – it does not matter which theory, so long as it can be pulled out when needed.

Then there is being an ethical therapist, which is quite different. I have come across quite brilliant therapists who are nevertheless not ethical, and therefore can do untold damage, and, on the other hand, therapists who work to the highest ethical standards, who may do no harm but do not do much good either.

What is the best advice you have received, and why?
I was training in TA and had told my trainer that I didn’t want to qualify as a TA therapist, as it was a long and expensive process. She said that it was important to be accredited with a professional body, and suggested BAC (as it was then). Unusually for me I did as I was told, and consequently have been accredited for over 25 years. Accreditation, for me, at least, has made an enormous difference to my work opportunities.

What values do you hold dear?
At the moment, I am very interested in looking at humility and how a lack of it can shape our counselling for the worse.

What do you enjoy about being a therapist?
The variety. No two days, or even two hours, are ever the same.

What do you find most challenging?
People at parties who say: ‘I have always wanted to be a therapist’. I suggest they explore the training and spend x number of years and x amount of money living their dream.

Which books have you read that inspired you?
My drug of choice is reading fiction and there are many novels that have taught me as much about the human psyche as anything else. For example, Jane Smiley’s wonderful story of obsession in her book Barn Blind.

To ensure I keep up with new writing, I review regularly for the Independent Practitioner, so I read at least three new books a year. One ‘find’ recently is Growing Old by Danielle Quinodoz.

Irving Yalom’s, Love’s Executioner. Reading this is the nearest I will get to listening in to sessions of one of the greats.

If you are a BACP member and would like to contribute to ‘Why I became a counsellor’, email niki.lawrence@bacp.co.uk for further details